If Your Child Was Just Diagnosed Neurodivergent, Let Me Give You a Hug.
I remember sitting exactly where you may be today. Overwhelmed. Scared. Wondering if I was doing enough.
As the mom of three incredible children with autism, I spent years searching for ways to help my kids thrive. I wasn’t looking for a miracle. I was looking for practical ideas that could make everyday life just a little easier.
I typed questions into Google like:
- “How can I help my autistic child naturally?”
- “What reduces meltdowns?”
- “How can I get my kids to eat more?”
- “What helps neurodivergent children sleep better?”
- “How can I create a calmer home?”
- “What do “safe” places look like with kids with autism/neurodivergence?”
If that’s why you’re here today, I hope this article gives you both practical ideas and hope. One of my sons had a very low IQ. Doctor’s were not sure he could learn. Today, he is a college graduate, working a full time computer science job. There is hope. Don’t give up! Keep looking for resources, different learning techniques for the Neurodivergent population.
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What We Know About Autism/Neurodivergent
Today, researchers agree that autism has a strong genetic component. Scientists also continue to study how environmental factors may interact with genetics during early development. Autism is complex, and there isn’t one single cause or one single solution.
That realization actually brought me peace. I can’t change my children’s genetics. But I can create a home that supports their health, learning, and emotional well-being. That’s exactly what our family set out to do.
One Thing Changed Everything
One of the biggest lessons I learned is this:
There wasn’t one magic therapy. And there wasn’t one miracle supplement. The answer wasn’t one essential oil. It was hundreds of small decisions made consistently over many years.This includes Speech therapy, Occupational therapy, ABA, and Behavior plans. We layered in Movement, Better sleep (process of elimination), Nutrition (we try hard – thank God for supplements), and Medication when appropriate.
What helped the most was Love. Along with Patience. And creating a home that felt calm and predictable. Every little piece mattered.
But hear me, this came with many tears, a divorce, and a crap ton of debt. Our solutions weren’t without pain, searching, and a great deal of grief and heartache.
Would I change my kids? I don’t think so. I wanted my neurodivergent children to be all that they could be. My goals included them being able to navigate an airport alone. It’s yet to be determined if they are all able to do this. 🙏🏼
15 Practical Ways We Supported Our Neurodivergent Kids
1. Create Predictable Routines
Neurodivergent individuals thrive in routines.
Children often feel more secure when they know what comes next.
Morning routines.
Homework routines.
Bedtime routines.
Consistency helped reduce stress for everyone. Change is hard. So we aimed to keep our routines predictable as much as possible.
2. Prioritize Sleep
Good sleep made a tremendous difference in our home. We kept bedtime consistent, dimmed the lights, reduced screens before bed, and created a peaceful environment whenever possible. Although, full disclosure, one of my neurodivergent kiddos has to have something going on in the background to sleep, possibly YouTube videos.
3. Get Outside Every Day
Let’s face it. This was a goal. It did NOT happen every day. Fresh air and movement helped my kids regulate their emotions. Even fifteen minutes outside often made homework go much more smoothly. Most neurodivergent individuals thrive in the outdoors and nature.
4. Break Difficult Tasks Into Small Pieces
Instead of expecting an hour of homework, we often worked for five to ten minutes, followed by a short movement break. Those breaks made a huge difference. Think token boards, crossing off expectations, showing an end in sight with visual timers.
5. Reduce Background Noise
Television. Music. Extra conversations.
For one of my sons, too much background noise made it much harder to concentrate. Creating a quiet space helped him focus.
For some neurodivergents, quiet atmospheres are very helpful. My one child is easily overwhelmed by any extra noise.
6. Celebrate Small Wins
Progress deserved celebration.
One completed math row? Celebrate. (High fives, a Pokemon card from the prize box, a m&m candy)…
A successful bedtime? Celebrate, with a cartoon on at breakfast.
Trying something new? Celebrate. (Go for a special outing, play ten minutes later at bedtime, give deep compressions with pillows, pull the kids around on a blanket, play baby dinosaur)…
Those little victories build confidence over time, which help my neurodivergent kids build self esteem. They could see they were capable of hard things.
7. Use Positive Reinforcement
Reward charts, favorite activities, and immediate encouragement were much more effective for our family than punishment. Get creative. One of my kids was obsessed with car washes. I found a see through car wash. We went so often. My son soaked in every second of feeling the brushes move against the glass. Lean into their special interests. They will love you for it.
8. Focus on Good Nutrition
Our goal wasn’t perfection. It was simply feeding our family nourishing foods as often as we could. Full disclosure: I gave up on veggies. We focused on fruits.
Protein: very rarely was it more than fried chicken products (boneless).
Healthy fats? My kids wouldn’t touch peanut butter. We did all that we could.
Colorful fruits and vegetables (as if)… I tried.
Water. I made my kids drink water. I won that battle.
Little improvements added up.
9. Build a Support Team
We didn’t do this alone.
Teachers.
Therapists.
Doctors.
Friends.
Church.
Family.
Accepting help made us stronger. Neurodivergents typically take a village. I used to think maybe we needed a whole tribe/city to raise our kids well.
10. Find the Right Therapies
Speech therapy, occupational therapy, and ABA were all important parts of our journey.
Every child is different, so work with professionals to determine what best fits your child’s needs. One child needed vision therapy, and physical therapy, the others didn’t. Pick and choose what works best. Throw out what is stress inducing, or what causes more chaos.
11. Remember Yourself
Caregivers need care too. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Think micro self care. Read this post about self care HERE.
12. Keep Learning
Every child is wonderfully unique.
Stay curious.
Ask questions.
Read.
Learn.
Adjust. Model coping skills for your neurodivergent kids, teaching them to keep learning too. Learning is addictive!
13. Create a Calm Environment
Simple things helped our family:
- Soft lighting
- Organized spaces with labels, (pictures)
- Predictable routines
- Calm voices
- Sensory-friendly spaces
- Quiet spots
14. Give Yourself Grace
There is no perfect parent.
You don’t have to do everything.
Do the next right thing.
Then tomorrow…
Do it again. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.
Neurodivergence takes patience and breaks as much as possible.
15. Products Our Family Enjoyed Using
Over the years, we also chose to include wellness products as part of our family’s routines.
These weren’t cures. They were simply products we personally enjoyed using alongside everything else we were already doing.
Some of our favorites included:
KidScents® Geneyus
We enjoyed using Geneyus as part of our family’s overall wellness routine. This is also part of the Reconnect Kit. I like giving my kids the rollerball, so whenever they feel stumped, I remind them to apply it.
Unwind™
Evenings after therapy, appointments, and homework could feel overwhelming. We enjoyed incorporating Unwind into our bedtime routine as part of creating a peaceful environment.
MightyPro®
Supporting gut health became one of the many healthy habits we focused on. Our guts determine our brain function at a deep level. Many of our kids need gut health support. This is a probiotic made for children! I still take them occasionally myself.
These sweet, yummy pixie sticks were a reward my kids looked forward to at night. They truly thought I was letting them have candy before bed – ha!
This kit supports all of the most emphasized traits of the neurodivergent. It’s pricey. I would buy it once, see which oils positively affect your kids the most. Then, I would buy those products individually. That’s how I roll.
I honestly wanted my kids to drink Ningxia Red. However, not one of them would tolerate it, Friends of mine have had phenomenal results in their children after the kids have ingested Ningxia Red for a few weeks. I wanted to include this as a possibility because it has been so helpful for others.
Hope for the Journey
If I could sit across the table from every newly diagnosed parent, I’d tell them this:
Don’t chase perfection.
Don’t believe every promise on the internet.
And don’t lose hope.
Your child doesn’t need to become someone else.
Your child needs people who will understand, encourage, and help them discover their unique gifts.
My oldest son once cried through homework for hours.
Today, he’s a grown man driving, working, living a full life.
Growth is possible.
Progress is possible.
Hope is always possible. Keep going. One step in front of the other. Try new tactics. Adjust. Rinse and repeat.
Download My FREE Homework Success Checklist
If homework battles have become one of the hardest parts of your day, I’d love to help.
Download my FREE Homework Success Checklist for practical ideas that helped make homework calmer, more productive, and less stressful in our home.
Inside you’ll find:
- Homework routines
- Focus tips
- Reward ideas
- Calm environment checklist
- Parent encouragement
Download your FREE Homework Success Checklist today!
Consultation
Feel free to book a thirty minute free consultation with me. I love helping families find free resources and ways to help. It would mean the world to me to meet you face to face. That’s me below. My hair is shorter now and I may weigh thirty more pounds. Yep, it’s time to get new headshots – ha!!
