Do your evenings turn into homework battles?
Are you wondering how to help your child focus on homework without tears, frustration, or hours at the kitchen table? I’ve been there and it’s TORTURE.
When my son was about six years old, homework became the hardest part of our day. He struggled to remember his alphabet. Numbers like 6 and 9 often became confused. Writing simple math problems was incredibly difficult for him, even though he could solve many of them in his head.
Some nights homework lasted from 7:00 p.m. until nearly 11:30 p.m. He cried. His hands shook. Sometimes he even broke out in a stress rash because he was so overwhelmed.
As his mom, I wasn’t worried about a worksheet. I was worried about my little boy.
Eventually, medical testing and psychological evaluations helped us understand what was going on. We found therapies, educational support, and new routines that completely changed the way we approached homework.
Today, that same little boy is a college graduate and works full-time as a computer programmer. His charm, smile, and peaceful demeanor are attributes that I frankly wasn’t sure existed when he was little. During prayer I referred to him as my “Little Archie Bunker.” ๐
If you’re searching for how to make homework easier or looking for homework tips for kids who struggle to focus, I hope these ideas encourage you.
1. Keep Homework Sessions Short
One of the biggest breakthroughs for us was realizing that longer wasn’t better.
Instead of fighting through an hour of frustration, we worked for about five minutes, then took a ten-minute movement break.
Those short breaks changed everything.
2. Get Kids Moving
During breaks, my son went outside.
He swung, ran around, played with his bubble gun (favorite) and jumped on the trampoline. Movement helped him return to homework calmer and more focused.
3. Remove Distractions
Our television stayed off. Music stayed off. He was easily overwhelmed by extra sounds. Creating a quiet environment helped him concentrate much better.
4. Celebrate Every Small Victory
We stopped waiting until the worksheet was finished to celebrate. Sometimes we celebrated one completed row of math problems. Tiny victories build confidence.
5. Find a Meaningful Reward
For my son, it wasn’t expensive. It was ice cream. Knowing something fun waited at the end of his hard work helped him persevere. Every child is different, so find a reward that truly motivates yours.
6. Build Predictable Homework Routines
Children often thrive when they know exactly what to expect. Doing homework at the same time, in the same place, with the same routine reduced stress for our family.
7. Create a Calm Environment
Our family discovered that little things made a difference. A tidy workspace. Softer lighting (no above lighting) and no background television.
We also enjoyed diffusing Cedarwood with a couple drops of Joy essential oil blend during homework time because we found its woodsy aroma helped create a peaceful atmosphere. I would also place a drop on his wrists (try it – trust me).
Later in the evening, we often used Sleepyze as part of our bedtime routine to help signal that the busy day was coming to an end. We used the diffuser and rubbed some on the bottoms of their feet. Sometimes, we put socks on the boys before they went to bed, that way they couldn’t smell the oils.
Another great homework helper is Genyus oil blend. I like to let my kids keep this in their pockets, allowing them to apply the oils at the stem of their necks or on their chests when they feel like they need help focusing.
8. Ask for Help
You don’t have to figure everything out alone. Evaluations, teachers, therapists, physicians, and support programs completely changed our family’s journey. Sometimes asking for help is the bravest thing a parent can do.
9. Support the Whole Child
Homework isn’t the only thing that matters:
Sleep.
Nutrition.
Exercise.
Emotional well-being.
Professional support when needed.
All of these pieces work together to help children learn and grow.
10. Never Lose Hope
When we were sitting at the kitchen table until almost midnight, I couldn’t imagine our future. I certainly never imagined my son graduating from college and becoming a computer programmer.
Honestly, my one wildly important goal was for him to read well enough to get through an airport. – Oh boy!
But growth doesn’t always happen quickly. Sometimes it happens one worksheet…
a special therapy session…
an especially encouraging conversation…
and one small victory at a time.
Keep going. PS He couldn’t remember his whole alphabet or read until 11 years old. His biggest gains happened between 16-17. No one to this day knows why. I believe it was answered prayer.
Our Family’s Homework Routine
Every family is different, but these were a few of the things we incorporated into our homework routine:
- Five-minute homework sessions with movement breaks
- Quiet, screen-free environment
- Plenty of encouragement
- Small rewards for effort
- Diffusing Cedarwood during homework time with a drip or two of Joy essential oil blend
- KidScents Geneyus as part of our family’s learning routine
- Sleepyze in the evening to help transition into bedtime
These weren’t magic solutions, but they became part of the calm, predictable environment that worked well for our family. And when I say calm… there were some breaking of furniture incidents and tears in between. However, we found a system that worked most of the time.
If it was an especially tough time, we skipped homework all together. I always wrote a note and explained. Sometimes, we just know our kids and realize it isn’t happening today. I believe tapping out once in a while is ok.
Free Homework Success Checklist
If homework has become stressful in your home, I’d love to help.
Download my Homework Success Checklist for practical ideas you can begin using today to create calmer, more productive homework routines.
Download your free Homework Success Checklist here.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why does my child cry during homework?
Some children become overwhelmed because of learning differences, anxiety, attention challenges, fatigue, or frustration. If homework consistently causes significant distress, talk with your child’s teacher or healthcare provider to better understand what may be contributing.
How long should homework sessions last?
Many children do better with shorter work periods and regular breaks. Our family found that brief homework sessions followed by movement breaks worked much better than long, stressful evenings.
How can I motivate my child to do homework?
Positive encouragement, predictable routines, meaningful rewards, and celebrating small successes often work better than punishment or constant reminders.
What if homework takes hours every night?
If homework regularly lasts several hours, it’s worth discussing the situation with your child’s teacher. Extremely long homework sessions can sometimes signal that additional support or accommodations may be helpful.
*Most teachers told us to abort mission after an hour. An hour?!? An hour for a six-eight year old boy was crazy talk to me. I soon found specialized schooling that encouraged homework to be about twenty minutes, thankfully.
**Every child is unique. The ideas in this article are based on our family’s personal experience and are shared for educational purposes. They are not a substitute for medical, psychological, or educational advice. If you’re concerned about your child’s learning or behavior, please speak with your child’s healthcare provider or school team.
Parents: if you suspect or others have suspected that your child needs some extra help. I know it’s a tough pill to swallow. But get answers sooner than later. The early intervention window closes around 5 years old.
Some parents hate labeling kids. I will say this: many more doors of opportunity and funding open with a diagnosis. Listen to what doctor’s and specialist’s suggest. Do your own research. Many children respond in an unexpected way to interventions. There may just be a prodigy in your family that would go unknown without some specialized supports.
For more on this subject, see the post about Staying Healthy Holistically Back To School Edition.
