Tag: American Church

Not Shocked: Shiny Happy People Season Two was more of what I grew up with.  Lots of emotion, lots of passion, with destruction left in the wake.  Sure, good things happened.  We experienced God’s thick presence.  Brought to our knees, we worshipped God for hours.  However, it struck a nerve with me.

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It made me wonder how many of the participants that went through Ron Luce’s ministry school are still in church?  I wonder if any are still in ministry.  I think back to the kids I went to Bible School with, only a smattering of us are still in Church from what I know.  It causes me to wonder what went wrong?

 

Not Shocked – Ego Centered Leaders

 

A common thread to disfunction that I have noticed are many factors: Leaders getting heavy headed (inflated egos), ditches in theology, a militant toughness, and a huge emphasis on image.  All of these factors cause everyone involved to suffer.  It’s where the safety of Matthew 6:33 comes in; that when Jesus is at the Center, everything else falls into place.

 

I’ve noticed (painfully, I’ve become aware), that like the pharisees, when we are consumed with how the “outside” perceives us, we go off course.  It’s in the hyper fixation of appearance, when hearts are overlooked, people are destroyed as if by a bull dozer, and frankly “fires,” are swept under the carpet.  In their eyes it’s better to hide the matter than to address it.

 

The Decline in Christian Affiliation: The share of Americans who identify as Christians has dropped significantly (e.g., from 78% in 2007 to 62% in 2023-24).

 

Not Shocked – Plastic, Hallow People

 

What I was not shocked with was the amount of emphasis upon emotion.  The huge pressure for full “buy in,”  to embrace the whole concept with little to no questioning.  It reminded me of being on staff at a “Seeker Friendly,” Church and being told we as a staff were not welcome in the building for services unless we were on our “A – Game.”  (No pressure there, eye roll).

 

As I think back on Shiny Happy People and upon the four years on staff at that “church,” I was faced with many of the same concepts.  For starters; leaders must be extreme.  Leaders must show up – loud and proud, full of energy.  However, as I ponder these pressures; I think of Jesus.

 

My Jesus, it says in the Gospels that He wept when Lazarus died.  It says he turned over tables in anger.  The Bible describes Him as moved with compassion: spitting in mud to heal blind eyes, allowing holes in ceilings for miracles, even writing in the mud to free an adulterous woman.  None of these examples would be “A Game” material for Teen Mania or some Mega Church Wanna bees.  And yet, this is how Jesus came through in His time on earth.

 

Shifts in Attendance Models: A significant number of Americans (40%) now participate in religious services online or in a hybrid way, suggesting a desire for connection without the pressure of in-person “A-Game” appearance.Pew Research Center.

 

It makes me ponder further, has the American Church desperately missed the mark?  I believe in vulnerability we bridge more ground, conversely when we try to emulate a spirit of perfection we burn more.  It grieves my heart that some have put stipulations upon God’s Beloved that truly are not in the Bible.

 

Watching Happy Shiny People, I was not shocked.  But my heart wept.  I saw young people, my age, who were taken advantage of by folks that originally meant well, but it morphed into some counterfeit Jesus movement.  The wreckage from this movement were hearts that need healing.  And then, the mic drop moment.  Would they experience healing in 2025-2026 most American Churches?  Would they find an open armed Jesus much like the Father in Prodigal Son or will they find plastic churches that only want Shiny, Happy People?

 

Church Dropout Rate: A 2019 study by Lifeway Research found that 66% of American young adults (ages 18-22) who attended a Protestant church regularly as teenagers dropped out for at least a year.

 

Not Shocked, Just Grieved

 

In most growing, mega church wanna be places I have visited, the marginalized are few.  Sure, there are plenty of flannel wearing, beard displaying, jeans flanked individuals.  But where are the destitute, the lost, the impoverished, the desperate?  From what I know of most churches, they come to the food pantries in the church Monday through Friday, but don’t attend Sunday services.  This is the all encompassing question: Why?

 

Is it because when we show up broken, we stick out like a sore thumb?  My guess is people know they will weep through service.  Folks know their pungent stench from the night before will be repulsive and so they stay far away.

 

Verses like if Matthew 18:6 (If anyone causes one of these little ones to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be downed in the depths of the sea.) and Luke 17:2 are tattooed with fear in my heart.  How dare we try to make Happy, Shiny People!

 

Religious Trauma Syndrome (RTS): The term exists in the psychological community to describe the lasting negative effects of religious abuse, indoctrination, and toxic religious environments.  Marlene Winell/Psychologists.

 

Not Shocked: My Prayer

 

All this to is to say.  I pray our churches are a hospital for the hurting, not a museum of perfect specimens.  My heart cry is for us to be a movement with tidal waves of action, not a stagnant country club of repugnance and murky membership, who quells to status quo, who is tolerant and not counter cultural.

 

I pray we are a mighty inferno.  Dare I pray we Aquire the Real Fire?  I pray God shakes us awake.  Prayers for boldness for maximum sound, greater capacity, stronger allegiance fills my lips.

 

In repentance, I fall on my knees, praying we aren’t Happy, Shiny People, but we are the real deal Holyfield.  I pray we weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice.  May the full spectrum of emotion be ours and we display our humanity proudly, otherwise we are only Hollow, Happy Shiny People.

 

My heart cries out for more depth, more intimacy, more connection.  I want to know people in their valleys, not just their mountain top moments.  Sitting with people in the dirt is much more admirable to me than crossing a finish line of victory.

 

Shocked By Some

 

This may come as a slap of truth… Ministry is dirty.  People come with issues and problems.  Embracing the problematic is the how I see Jesus’ flow the the Gospels.  He healed the loud who wouldn’t shut up (Blind Bartimeus).  Jesus spoke to His enemy (Samaritans), He confronted the top-notch, highly exalted by calling them Snakes and Vipers (Sadduccees and Pharisees).

 

Most ministry happens in the crossroads of life.  All the crossroads that come to mind are not predictable, pristine, or flawless in nature.  Times like accidents, deaths, diagnosis, death, birth, and more are absolutely tear provoking situations, that happen suddenly; sometimes without warning.  Ministry colors outside the lines.  It is always needed.  Ministry calls out for help, when others are not present to give any.

 

Not Shocked By Emotions

 

Look at the Beatitudes in the Gospels.  They say blessed are the poor in spirit, the those who morn, the peacemakers, and those who are persecuted.  None of that fits the profile of Happy, Shiny People, and yet God, calls them BLESSED!

 

Oh American Church, I pray we do not squelch those who mourn, I pray we celebrate the lost, welcoming them Home.  We are better than this.  Let’s be real.  Being real isn’t a cool tag line.  Reality is there are highs and lows.  The cold hard fact is that Our Real God is big enough to face it all with us.  He never leaves us nor forsakes us.

 

Embrace the REAL, less “A Game Days.”  Life can’t be all “A Game.”  We need transparency.  Leaders: it isn’t the worst thing for your flock to see you struggle sometimes,  The most important thing is that we stay in the Game.  That we stay human with the array of emotions.  Proverbs 4:23 tells us to guard our heart with all diligence.  In guarding our hearts, let’s not let them grow cold or hardened.  Stay soft, and sweet: teachable, and raw at times.

 

Not Shocked by Lies, Live in Truth

 

It’s my belief that the image of perfection, is a lie.  The Only One I know who is perfect is Jesus!  The truth sets us free (John 8:32).  Since not being on staff at that “church,” it is freeing to go in public and not look like a Barbie (I tried -ha!)  at times.  It feels good to be free to cry, to sit in sadness, with no pressure of having to be on my A-Game.

 

I hope we all find that freedom too.  Putting confines on our emotions as not showing up if we aren’t on our “A-Game,” takes our humanity away.  Live free friends.  Let’s be the Real Deal Through and Through, and in it, I believe we will Aquire a Real Fire.

 

PS My point is that I think we are hurting more people by try to keep the persona of perfection than by being real.  Real Heals.  We can’t go wrong by being genuine and intentional.  That is all.  Thank You.

 

Shocked By Truth:  Listen to this…